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Kickass Phone Rates from 3U
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These are various quotes, most of them related to my work as a computer programmer, but all of them worth reading at least once, in my opinion. Most of these have attributes, but if I missed one, please let me know. Thank goodness sex isn't licensed under the GPL or everyone would get to watch! -- Slashdot sig May your glass be always full. May the roof over your head be ever strong. And may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead. -- Old Irish Toast Code commentary is like sex. If it's good, it's really good. If it's bad, it's still better than nothing. "Windows NT and 2000 are more expensive than Linux, and they aren't stable enough to run Google.com," said Google founder and president Sergey Brin, who added that he doesn't trust the quality of Microsoft tech support. "In the Windows case, it's not how many dollars it would cost--it's how much heartburn." A UNIX saleslady, Lenore Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more She found a good way To combine work and play She sells C shells by the seashore. They shall not overcome. Whoever told them that the truth shall set them free was obviously and grossly unfamiliar with federal law. - Hacked web page quote Smack! Right there on my plate, served up, red meat, hot. That's what I'm talking about. -- Myself, after a long day coding Just let me take off my marketing hat and put my brains back in. -- A CEO Oh, lots better. Oh, yeah...Total Control. -- Ryan after far too much work. My new year's resolution is 1024x768. Last year I resolved to 127.0.0.1 Microsoft is spinning [.NET] as a innovative new platform but what they're really doing is giving developers an updated set of handcuffs. -Sun Microsystems The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson. A picture is worth a thousand words but it uses up a thousand times the memory. Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. -- Gene Spafford, 1992 Failure is not an option! It comes bundled with the software. DirectX is a horrible, clunky, poorly-designed, poorly-documented, bloated, ugly, confusing beast of an API that has driven many a programmer to drink. -- David Joffe Paths-shmaths! MUAHAHA, we now have completely forced frames--I feel so domineering...give me a whip and some black leather pants and we'll make it official...muahahaa! -- Andrew, apparently after a LOT of caffeine All I know is that I'm being sued for unfair business practices by Microsoft. Hello, Pot? It's Kettle on line two. -- Michael Robertson Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. ...and we're running and screaming down the aisle waving our bouquets. -- Myself after venting some frustrations If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy. Bow before me, for I am root. In the east there is a shark that is larger than all other fish. It changes into a bird whose wings are like clouds filling the sky. When this bird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate Headquarters. This message it drops into the midst of the programmers, like a seagull making a mark up on the beach. Then the bird mounts on the wind and, with the blue sky at its back, returns home. The novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he understands it not. The average programmer dreads the coming of the bird, for he fears its message. The master programmer continues to work at his terminal, for he does not know that the bird has come and gone. This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption.... Beer! -- Friar Tuck, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves A car is not simply a form of transportation for most men; it is like the woman they could never get in high school. It is sexy, it holds great power over him, and he does not fully understand its inner workings. -- Zach Stroum, Shaw Island Is that the same year they invented fire? -- Tim remarking on the age of Tom based on what computer he used to use. "Ford!" he said, "There's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out." -- Arthur Dent, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine. The Caffeine Prayer Caffeine is my shepherd, I shall not doze It maketh me to wake in green pastures It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses It restoreth my buzz; It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction, I will fear no Equal™: For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me. Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez; Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over; Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the House of Folger's forever. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -- Rich Cook. The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit. -- Eric Porterfield. The three principle virtues of a programmer are Laziness, Impatience, and Hubris. -- Larry Wall We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. -- Mother Theresa (maybe) The beatings shall continue until morale improves. I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined. -- Homer Simpson All you have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to you. -- Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings People in technology industries talk about exponential growth the way teenagers talk about sex. Everyone pretends to be having it, everyone wishes they knew how to get it, and none of them fully understands its implications. -- Peter Coffee, eWeek, Dec 15th, 2003 |
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